He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
