1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
