the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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