The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
