Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize