Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
