I wanna passion pit in your ass
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
