i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
