may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
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I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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