I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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