it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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