I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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