Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
