So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I skipped work to stalk him.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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