If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
