dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
