end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize