Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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