and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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