Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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