I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I CAN MOONWALK!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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