Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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