That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I could fuck to npr.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
