is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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