i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Im part way to drunk.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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