I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize