Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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