Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
