yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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