After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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