there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
