You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
