I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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