So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
