So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize