thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
