I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
