Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
