I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
