Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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