I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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