the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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