Is it because I queefed?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
