It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Even my vagina gasped.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
