I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
