I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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