good thing vaginas are great cup holders
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
