at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
