Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
