You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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