I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
