Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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