Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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