it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
