If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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