You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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