I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize