I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
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I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
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How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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