Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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