i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
