Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
