What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
