Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
